‘An awfully big adventure’

Recalculating is a travel blog. We created it specifically to chronicle our four-month adventure on the road, but this trip we’re on is part of a much larger journey … one that was partially inspired by the life journey of Tony’s uncle John.

Sadly, John’s 19-month battle for his life is coming to an end, so we’ve taken a break from the road trip to reunite with our family in Tampa. If you’ll permit me, I’ll also take a break from the travel posts to share a little about how a humble, intelligent, funny CPA inspired us to live the life we’ve always wanted.

I first conceived of this road trip idea a few years ago … RVing is something Tony and I have always talked about doing in retirement but in 2015, we began talking about ways to make it happen sooner. Ever practical, Tony pointed out that things like this are expensive, and neither of us had jobs that allowed for significant remote work. We decided we’d start looking into other ways to make money on the road and never really found any, so the dream stayed just that — a dream.

Then in January 2016, John was diagnosed with Leukemia.

We always admired John’s commitment to saving and careful money management. He lived with his parents after college so that he could save money, socked away carefully for parenthood and retirement, and gave valuable advice to hundreds of people, including us, in his role as a CPA. His hard work and discipline paid off with a home that many people only dream of owning, a fruitful career, wonderful vacations and well-educated kids. He and Kim are the picture of the great things that come tomorrow, when you invest and spend wisely today.

They are role models.

Following our visits with John and upon learning of his waning health, Tony and I realized that no matter how much we plan, there’s no time or life phase guaranteed to us — including retirement. Recognizing that waiting 30 years to take the trip of our dreams may not be an option, we started to aggressively save and plan to make our road trip happen sooner.

Because of John, we did.

For days, I’ve felt heartbroken thinking of the many wonderful life experiences — other than retirement — that John won’t have. He won’t teach his grand kids to play tennis, taste the first beer that John Jr. brews commercially, cry laughing at another of Mark’s epic family toasts, walk Laura down the aisle on her wedding day, or stroll beaches and lakeshores with Kim. It feels terribly unjust for a man who lived such a responsible, faithful, loving life.

I have felt angry about this, hating that John and all the people who love him are robbed of these future memories.

What has helped me cope, though, is seeing John’s life through a wider lens. I’ve only known him 11 years, so while looking through photos with the family this week, I’ve glimpsed a much deeper dimension to this man and realized what an incredibly full life he lived in just 59 years.

John travelled. I found pictures of him watching the Olympics, relaxing on cruises, playing with his kids on countless beaches, lakes and mountains, and exploring various countries including Ireland, France, England, Canada and more.

John partied. Weddings, anniversary celebrations, rehearsal dinners, graduations, birthdays, holidays, baptisms … really any occasion to toast and eat cake and, just like a Brannan, John was there.

John loved and was loved. I cannot begin to count the number of photos I’ve seen of John’s kids, nieces and nephews hanging on his neck or hugging his legs. There are also many of him laughing with friends, smirking lovingly at siblings, and of he and Kim dancing or Kim kissing his cheek.

John served. There are pictures of John on church retreats, with Sunday School classes he taught for decades, coaching little league teams, and volunteering at local fundraisers and service projects. These types of events are generally not well-documented photographically, but John served so much and for so long, the evidence persists.

John practiced what he preached. One of my favorite pictures I’ve seen over the last three days is one of John in his hospital room reading the bible that’s resting in his lap. Though I’m sure there were moments of deep despair and questioning, John and Kim remained faithful through some of the most difficult physical challenges I can imagine. They are powerful witnesses.

I’ve decided to stop viewing this tragedy as a future robbed from a wonderful man. Instead, I’m trying to consciously focus on his legacy and yet again find inspiration in the example John set by living his life so fully, humbly, lovingly and bravely.